Why Do I Feel Stuck

Article

Dr. John Slate, Ph.D. explores the times in life when we know something needs to change, yet we cannot seem to make ourselves move. We may know that a relationship is unhealthy, that our work no longer fits us, that we need better boundaries, or that we have been postponing a decision for months or even years. We think about it while driving, lying awake at night, or having the same conversation with someone we trust.

Underneath chronic overthinking is often an understandable belief: If I think about this long enough, I will eventually know the right answer. Unfortunately, many of life's most important decisions do not work that way.

Once we identify where we are stuck, the next question is not simply What should I do? It is What am I waiting for before I allow myself to do it?

Why Do I Feel Stuck

Worksheet

Personal growth can become overwhelming when we turn it into a demand to reinvent ourselves. We imagine the confident person, the disciplined person, the emotionally healthy person, or the person who finally has life figured out. The distance between who we are and who we think we should be becomes so large that even growth itself begins to feel intimidating.

A small action may seem insignificant compared with the size of the life change we want, but it accomplishes something overthinking cannot. It creates movement. Once we move, we receive new information, and new information allows us to make the next decision from experience rather than imagination.

Why Do I Feel Stuck

Podcast

When we feel stuck, our instinct is often to search for one more answer. We believe there must be something we have overlooked, something we need to understand before we can begin.

Sometimes there is, but sometimes we already know enough.

We have considered the possibilities. We understand the risks. We recognize our patterns.

Growth rarely begins with complete confidence. More often, it begins with a person saying, I am uncertain, I am uncomfortable, and I am going to take one reasonable step anyway.

That step does not guarantee the outcome. It does something more important: it teaches us that uncertainty does not have to stop us.

Go Deeper

To go deeper and learn about the underlying pattern, needs and recovery, look at this chapter from Dr. Slate's book: Self-Worth Transformation Workbook